reclaiming me

Step it to the Max.

Ah, I needed that. Now I want to hike. Seriously!

If today continues to be a workload-light day, I might pick up Maya early and hit Atalaya Mountain. The weather couldn’t be more perfect, and how *light* I feel after doing SITTM confirms (for now, anyway) for me something I suspected: I need less isometric “weight” workouts, more cardio. If I consider B/R TWO to be a weight-training exercise, it makes sense that I should really only be doing it 2-3 times per week at the most. Cardio, on the other hand (like hiking, running, and now SATI/SITTM), is something that my body likes almost daily. When I’ve been in my absolute best condition, I was lifting twice per week, but doing a walking/running workout that is quite similar to SITTM (I did arms while walking on the uphills) on a near-daily basis.

At least, I sure hope this is the ah-ha I needed. A mere few days ago, I felt rather zen about my size, as in, “when it’s ready, my body will drop.” As of yesterday afternoon, and definitely this morning, I felt downright pissy. I even caught myself doing a self-comparison to a couple other moms as I dropped off Maya at daycare (and found myself to be huge and frumpy next to them). What the f***? I don’t usually DO the highschoolish comparison thing! Ugh. At least I recognized what I was doing fairly quickly, slapped myself around a little, and had a Chai.

On that note, I got my chai with milk. Yes, milk. Since I’ve still been feeling bloaty/big, I figured that milk must not have been the culprit. Now, I itch. Everywhere. The worst parts are the backs of my knees, upper arms, and inner elbows. Is this psycho-somatic, or do I really have an issue with milk? Guess I need to find out.

Back to workouts, SITTM does *not* feel like a total workout, as in “oh my god, you can’t possibly do that two days in a row.” It just feels like normal cardio, as if I might do SATI after PBS and before TWO, then do SITTM on my “off” days, perhaps with abs added in. Eh, who knows.

Two days and counting until the Santa Fe workshop. Guess I need to make sure I have all the ingredients for Tortilla Soup in the house…and stock up on Dos Equis and limes!

Tags: Daily Log, Self-Motivation, Feeding Myself by Allison
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Yesterday, I was grouchy. As a part of that, I didn’t do diddly-squat for working out. Of course, that’s silly, since a workout would have likely helped my mood, but hey, it is what it is. I did nada.

The fat shift is beyond old, I look simply *awful* undressed (like, more ripples and bumps), and I’m ready for my jeans to get looser, thankyouverymuch.

Today, I woke up feeling more motivated:

• Instructional #1
• Hoe Downs
• Core Series
• Diva Derriere
• Awesome Legs
• More Hoe Downs
• Hoe Downs again after lunch

As blobby as I’m still feeling, who knows? Maybe I’ll work even MORE hoe downs in there later today. Then again, probably not. I’ve still got work to finish, and I have about an hour left before time to pick up the kidlet! Maybe if I start to get tired…

On the food front, I’ve slacked on the no-dairy experiment. Since I’ve done absolutely NO controlling, I’m unsure if it’s related, but my skin has broken out (face - jawline and chin) and the itchiness I had behind the knees and up the inner thighs has returned with a vengeance. I think that I should give it another try — for at least two weeks this time — but I have such issues with the idea of giving up dairy. It makes me angry. I LOVE cheese. I adore ice cream. I like creamy/fatty sauces, especially when mushrooms and wine are involved. Giving up dairy would mean that I’d have to live on stir fry, it feels!

Anyway, to that point, the grand dairy experiment is on hold. I’m still keeping one part of it: no milk to drink. Milk in recipes, okay. Milk in my coffee, no. Soy milk is surprisingly fantastic in coffee, and Trader Joe’s organic, non-sweetened SM is very reasonably priced.

Tags: Daily Log, Bitch and Moan, Self-Motivation, Feeding Myself by Allison
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I’ve always had this idea that sugar wasn’t an issue to me.

Other than PMS and pregnancy (during pregnancy, I HAD TO HAVE IT NOW), I simply don’t crave sugar. Giving up sugar as part of the Lenten Challenge was really just a lark that I added a week into it. What I’ve since discovered is that while sugar wasn’t ever a weight-gain issue for me, it had some other serious side effects!

On Tuesday night, I stayed up late-late-late working on a deadline — 4am, to be precise. After I finished my work at 2pm the following day, I decided that I *deserved* a reward. That reward came in the form of a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Dublin Mudslide.” It’s divine. Or, at least I used to think so.

With the first few bites, I noticed that it was much sweeter than what I really wanted, and that the texture bothered me (huh?). Yet still, I kept the pint on my desk, and whittled away at it until it was just a bit more than half-gone. Wednesday night while watching “Medium,” I polished it off. No big deal, right? Wrong.

Hello, mood swings. Yesterday morning, I was experiencing the sorts of negative thoughts that usually would only accompany depression! I hated living in Santa Fe. I would be better off single. I’m doing nothing with my life. Blah, blah, blah. (For the record, none of these things are true. I was in “a mood,” and I knew it.) Doing TWO pulled me out of that mental line of bizarre thought — I was amazed at how much better (and more sane) I felt even five minutes into a workout. By “jazz twist” I felt like ME again. It’s a good thing that the husband has been out of reach while he’s at work!

Anyway, that was a relief. I mentally felt like myself again. That didn’t prepare me, though, for the afternoon. My energy went through. the. floor. Seriously, I was having a difficult time doing the smallest, simplest tasks. You know, like *standing* up. Combine that with a whiny daughter who was in a clingy mood, and I was SO relieved when her bedtime hit! On top of that, I kept craving food (lots! of! food!) between meals, and I puffed up enough that if I’d measured, I’m sure my waist/hips could have been as much as 2 inches bigger. I hit bed around 11 (after snoozing on the sofa for probably an hour), and didn’t get up until 7:40 this morning. Ah, restorative sleep.

Today, things are back to normal. I’m not energy-depleted. I’m not craving foods in a weird way like I was yesterday. I’m — for the most part — back to where I was pre-ice cream. In other words, I feel good.

What really astonishes me is that before, I would have not noticed an effect from ice cream. My general level of feeling well was low enough that the dip from sugar was unnoticeable! Now, even eating dried apricots will make me draggy a few hours later, unless I combine them with some protein. The best part is, I’m not really missing sugar now. In the past, if I “gave something up” or (horrors) dieted, I would feel resentful that I was not “allowed” to have that item. Instead now, I don’t feel like it’s an outside influence telling me not to eat sugar. It’s me, reading my body, and realizing that feeling the way I did yesterday simply isn’t worth it. Ben and Jerry are no longer my friends.

Wow. That almost sounds mature or something.

Tags: Feeding Myself by Allison
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Workout: nothing, not even PBS.

Food: I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s over the course of the afternoon/evening. Need I say more?

I’m feeling so emotionally negative today, it’s amazing. Part of this might be based in reality, but I wonder how much of it is simply the ghost of Ben/Jerry coming to haunt me today?

Tags: Daily Log, Feeding Myself by Allison
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Yesterday was another “off” day from TWO (I should probably stop saying that, since I’m backing off a bit this week, LOL), but I still got some good workout in:

• OIP/HF
• BWO+
• Core Series by Sherri (I am LOVING this workout)
• Diva Derrierre
• Awesome Legs
• One last OIP to finish off

Funny, that looks like so much, but it’s not giving me the overtraining feel that I felt I had from TWO. For now, this seems to be a good “rest” option for me, and it really didn’t take much time.

On the food front…

Yesterday was the first “S” day when I really um…took advantage of it being an S day. I made an Angel Food cake, and among the three of us (me, dh, dd), we ate ALL of it. That’s the most sugar I’ve had in weeks, and by the afternoon, I could barely stand up, I was crashing so hard. Damn. I had no idea that sugar affected me quite so much — I’ve never noticed the high from it, but now I sure can see the low!

After seeing it mentioned on the boards a few times, I decided I wanted to read Mastering Leptin. From an overview I found online, it seems to overlap almost seamlessly with No-S, and perhaps even explain why No-S would be so effective for people. Here are the basics for eating to master leptin:

The Five Rules

Rule 1:

Never Eat After Dinner. Allow 11-12 hours between dinner and breakfast. Never go to bed on a full stomach. Finish eating dinner at least three hours before bed. This rule is explained in chapter 15 of the book.

Rule 2:

Eat 3 Meals a Day. Allow 5-6 hours between meals. Do Not Snack. This Rule is explained in chapter 17 of the book.

Rule 3:

Do Not Eat Large Meals. If overweight, always try to finish a meal when slightly less than full; the full signal will usually catch up in 10-20 minutes. Eating slowly is important. This rule is explained in chapter 18 of the book.

Rule 4:

Eat a high-protein breakfast. This rule is explained in chapter 19.

Rule 5:

Reduce the amount of carbohydrates eaten. This rule is explained in chapter 20.

A brief “why” for each of the rules follows in the article I found online. Take a look.

The “No Snacking” part of the No-S fits with this, doesn’t it? Thinking back to the only other “diet” that seemed to love my body (and my body it), it also had some “rules” about hours between meals. I’ve always worked on the assumption that it was what I was eating that made a difference for me; now I wonder if it wasn’t the timing that made the tipping point.

I’m back to No-S today, with the added caveat that the *only* liquid I’ll have between mealtimes is water. Friday, I had coffee and V8; if ML makes sense, then I need to avoid any calories at all between meals. On the downside, I didn’t eat at all until 11:20ish today — with a sickie 2yo, our schedule is off in a big way. I’m just considering it lunch (I munched off/on until 1ish), and will hold off on dinner until at least 6pm. That should be easy, considering that we tend to be 7pm for dinner kind of folks around this house.

Weight…between Friday and today, the scale shows a drop of 5 pounds and 2 percentage points of body fat. That seems impossible, and likely is water weight related to the end of my period…but whatever, I’ll take it. I didn’t do full body measurements, but a quick check of bust/waist/hips showed that I’m going back down. I’ll take it.

Today’s stats: 145.4 pounds / 35% body fat.

For what it’s worth, I’m still reading through Mastering Leptin as I have time. In the meantime, the five rules seem simple enough, and I’ll learn more about the “why” behind them as I read more.

Tags: Measurements, Daily Log, Feeding Myself by Allison
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